February? Really? That is the last time I blogged? That is so crazy and so unlike me. Well, a lot has been unlike me lately. I have had a serious case of the Wo is me. I am not one that likes to whine, or feel sad. But lately, I have had a really hard time being happy with myself. Do any of you just ever sit back and compare yourselves to other people, or compare your blog to other peoples blog, or compare the amount of meals so and so cooks for their family. Or how come she can do that craft, or she can shop that well, or her kids listen, or her house is always clean, or she takes her kids to the park everyday, or they can go on vacations wherever they want.
Well, I have been beating myself up over this since February. I haven't been myself. I feel like I don't fit in where I once did. I feel like I am a maid, chef, therapist, referee, etc....and I have lost my identity. There are days where I think maybe my Heavenly Father made a mistake making me a mom. Sometimes I think I would be better off with a house full of cats...and I am allergic to cats! I haven't been a good friend to those I love the most, mainly because they are the ones I compare myself to the most. Then when you don't succeed like they do, you feel inadequate to be in their presence. I use to be crafty, I used to LOVE to blog, I use to LOVE taking my kids to the park. How can a happy person feel these feelings I feel? I have gotten so wrapped up in being the "perfect" housewife, mom, neighbor, PTO vice president, church member, friend...that I have lost who I really am. I want to BE ME, I want to DRESS how I want, I want to be happy, I want to feel like I won't be judged for things I choose to do.
I am blessed with the GREATEST husband. He has been so patient with me because really this is all stupid crap that is so superficial and lame. He supports ALL my decisions and is there when the chips fall. I love him so much and wish that even his own dad would know of his greatness. He has overcome so much in his life and I want him to know I am SO blessed to be with him forever. He is the light of my life. I am blessed with three great kids that I love and adore. I hope they know how much I truly love them.
So, hopefully I can snap out of this and come back to blogging and show that I too have talent....