I have officially hit rock bottom. I am so tired and worn out. The carnival sucked everything out of me and now I must figure out if it really was worth all the tears, strength, ignoring of my family, bickering, being around negativity for three weeks straight, frustration that open mindness isn't an option.
But because of this carnival my kids ate way too much fast food, Mia spent hours and hours and hours and hours in the car while I ran errand after errand after errand, Adam had to take a half day off just to watch my kids because babysitters fell through. Shouldn't I be able to watch my own kids? How do other moms do it? How do other moms put their families on the back burner and be way involved in EVERYTHING and still move forward with everything else?? I just can't do it. I am not going to put what I love most on the side just so I can feel better about what I do to help others. Sometimes I worry so much about what other moms are doing that I forget WHO I am. I am a mom that LOVES to be with her kids and husband. I am a mom that LOVES to plan parties, so somehow I need to balance the two and move at my own pace and not at other supermoms paces.
I sometimes wish I could just be one of those moms that just sit back and let the school take care of EVERYTHING and not help one bit with the PTO or anything for that matter. But I know that my kids love seeing me be involved with their school lives.
I didn't get to spend ONE minute with BayLee at the carnival. I was stuck in a tiny hallway inside the school with the silent auction. She had been worried that she wouldn't be able to reach the top of the rock climb and sure enough she accomplished it and I wasn't even able to watch her do it. I missed my kids during the past two weeks, I missed my husband these past two weeks, I missed REAL food, I missed quiet phones, I missed Mias perfect schedule that is now totally messed up, I missed watching LOST Biggest Loser SURVIVOR and many more shows I love, I missed my quiet days and quiet nights.
SO for now, over and out and I need to refocus and rebalance my life. Would that be so bad
Monday, September 21, 2009
So Sunday is the day the kids look their best. Dressed up in their nicer clothes. Hair done perfectly. The best accessories possible. The house is harmonious. Everyone is helping eachother get ready, everybody is listening. UMMMM.....probably not. Sundays are the most chaotic mornings of the week. For some reason everything goes wrong, everyone is cranky, so here is a look into our sunday photo sessions.
These are yesterdays pictures.
I wanted to capture Mias darling dress......unaccomplished
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
We went camping this past weekend and put a tent, a cooler, four sleeping bags, food, camp mate, four pillows, clothes bag, four camp chairs, diapers, wipes,2 dutch ovens, a lantern with propane tank, 24 pack of water, four fishing poles, two tackle boxes, and five people into our little Dodge Intrepid. It was CRAZY!!! We have lost our van due to an accident that Adam had in it last month so I am thinking that this is the prime time to buy my dream vehicle! I have wanted one of these forEVER!!! I want a tie died one with a peace sign on the top. So we have begun the search and I WILL find one. :) I can just imagine us cruisin up the highway to our campin spot and better yet travel around the USA in this beauty. The best part is that Adam totally supports my desire for this beauty. Wish me luck!!!!