Thursday, April 16, 2009

Yes, I am Having a Poor Me Day

I am having one of those days where you just want to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over your head, and go to sleep and wake up the next day. There are those days where you sit back and wonder "am I really doing a good job raising my kids"? I just feel like there is something more I can do for my son. I have read self help books, I have prayed until I just can't pray anymore. I have done everything that I can do.....but there has to be more. I want to be his "hero" not his "enemy". I want to "understand" and not "criticize".....I want to be there to "listen" not to "ignore". I know that inside of his active mind, things are going a mile a minute....kind of like a traffic jam. He has all of this energy and he is not sure where to channel it. So therefore he has to take a pair of scissors to brand new blinds and a hammer to the tile. I just think I need to better examine myself and maybe I will be able to understand. But I think I have dug about as far as I can.
I know things could be worse. I know that people have things far worse than this they have to deal with, I have heard that a million times. I admire mothers with a full plate that can still perform top notch. But I have reached the point where I am ok to admit that I am not perfect and I never will be. I am so thankful for Adam and the love that he shows me, he is definatley the best.
So yes, Mandee does have bad days, and this is one of them. So much for the back to bed idea....must continue marching on! Love you guys.


TIFFANI♫ said...

oh dear. i love you.
i am glad to see you are human and have bad days. :) but not glad in the sense that i don't even know in the slightest how to be a support you can lean on. but i always will be. you've taught me alot this past month or so regarding struggles and trials. i know that ours are different, not even close to being one in the same. but i think we can all take into consideration the same things.

in Neil A Anderson's conference talk he said "The Lord will shape the back to the burden placed upon it."

i took that among so many other things and realized, ya i'm struggling, and YA i can get through this.

i have no doubt that you are a wonderful mother. and i have no doubt that you can get through this, still being a wonderful mother!

go back to bed! :) you deserve a good restful/peaceful day!! :)

Doty Family said...

Sweet post, my dear! You know your a dang good mother. We have to love him the way he is, but I hear ya! I know your struggles and I'd react the same way. Keep praying! LOVE YOU! Love your background too, by the way.

Anonymous said...

There are those days where you sit back and wonder "am I really doing a good job raising my kids"?
It's when you feel like this that you know you're doing a good job! Ask my mom! This is what she tells me all the time. Deep down, you are his hero, you do understand and you do listen. He knows that everything you do is because you care and love him. You are super mom! You, Brandy, Kris and Mom. I pray that I can be even HALF the mother that any of you are. You all just FREAKIN ROCK! I LOVE YOU!